Bereavement

"Our Children Change us...whether they live or not". - Lois McMaster Bujold

Grieving the death of a baby is a bewildering experience. For parents of multiples, you may face special struggles when grieving. In addition to grieving the loss of more than one baby, you may grieve the chance to raise twins, triplets, quads, quints or more. You may also be coping with issues such as different causes of death for each baby, neonatal intensive care, emergency hospitalization, surgery(ies), treatment decisions, death and perhaps a homecoming with a surviving baby.

You may feel as though no one understands what you are going through and in many ways, you are right. Even your closest family members and friends who have stood by us through our loss have a different experience than we do. Yet there is no time in our lives when we need others more. Heartstrings Connections can introduce you to another bereaved parent who has experienced a similar loss at least one year ago for one-to-one encouragement and support. You can talk with someone who has felt the pain of losing multiples, struggled with the same questions, and reluctantly given up the lives they too had counted on yet had the courage to move on in this world. You don't have to be alone during this difficult time. We have both men and women who would like to encourage you.

Please complete the Connections Application if you would like a match with a support parent and mail it to the address indicated on the application. You can also give us a call at 336-335-9931 or send an email to grier@heartstringsgso.org.

Are you interested in helping others as support parents? Click here for more info.

Resources 

Loss before Life Begins - this thesis and its articles (written by a mother who lost her babies to TTTS) looks at how our society tends to shy away with losing our children before they are born.

• Article One: The Language of Loss
• Article Two: And Mother Makes Me; Five Women's Stories of Loss Before Life Beginning
• Article Three: The 'System' and the People Working in it
• Article Four: The Way it is and the Way it Could Be
• Read the full Thesis

Additional Links and Article Resources

A Place of Peace

A wonderful friend to the Fetal Hope Foundation, Jenny Hander wrote about her inspirational and comforting journey after losing her daughter to a fetal syndrome (TTTS).  Fetal Hope recommends this book for anyone dealing with the loss of their child(ren).

"Since the death of my daughter, I have come to believe that grief is a lifelong journey...it is how you choose to handle your grief that matters. By sharing how I cope with my personal journey through grief, I hope to inspire others to live the amazing life that God has planned for each of us, no matter what we may have lost in the past". - Jenny Hander

Click here to Purchase or for more information.